. It is the common wonder of all men, how among so many millions of faces
there should be none alike- Sir Thomas Browne
Yes, fortunately, there are
no two faces exactly alike. If all faces did look alike, we couldn’t remember
them, or the names, memory system or not. I have been challenged many times to
remember the first names of a set of identical twins. So far, I have always
been able to spot one difference, however minute, in their faces. It is to this
difference that I would associate their names. So, as the French say, “Vive la
difference”
If you have studied the
previous chapters on how to remember names and faces; and if you have tried the
methods, you should be greatly improved by now. A1-though in most cases it is
the second, or family names, that most of us want to remember , some of you may
be interested in remembering first, or given names, as well . This too, can be
done with a conscious association. You can use a substitute word for the first
name, as well. This too, can be done with a conscious association. You can use
a substitute word for the first name, and get that into you know very well having
the same first name, with the person you wish to remember.
Substitute words for first
names are easy to find; Harry could be “hairy”; Clark could be “clock”; for
William, I always picture a man with a bow arrow as William Tell, while money
or “rich” always means Richard, to me Anne could be “ant”; Marion could be
“marrying”; for Gloria, you might see the American Flag (old Glory), etc
If you use the substitute
word idea for remembering first names, after a while you will have one at your
fingertips for any one that you meet.
The system of picturing a
friend of yours whose first name is the same as the person whom you want to
remember, might work just as well for you. If you meet a Mr. John Sitrous, you
could use the substitute word “citrus” to associate to an outstanding feature:
then put your friend, John, into the picture some now (in a ridiculous way) and
you’ll remember that Mr. Sitrous first name is John.
Again, it is not for me to tell
you which idea to use, you may use one or both, as the circumstances demand.
This is entirely up to you. If you find that you can remember first names with
one system better than with the other, and then by all means, use the one that
helps you most.
If at first you have a bit of
trouble remembering the first names, don’t let it bother you; just use the
second name. Keep at it for a while and you’ll soon be able to remember first
names just as well as you do second names, and vice versa. You won’t insult
anyone by remembering only his or her last name. Benjamin Disraeli had an out
even if he forget both names; he once said, “when I meet a man whose name I cannot remember , I
give myself two minutes, then if it is a hopeiess case,. I always say, “And how
is the old complain?’ Since most of us have some sort of old complaint or
other, Disraeli probably flattered everyone he used this on, making them
believe that he remembered them quite well. However, no need for subterfuge;
use my systems and you will remember names and faces.
More important, I think, the
remembering first names, is to be able to remember pertinent facts about the
people you meet. This holds true for business and social life. Businesswise,
particularly, since it is often helpful to remember what items or style numbers
you sold to a certain customer, or if you’re a doctor to remember patients’
symptoms and ailments, etc. It is also very flattering to meet a person whom
you haven’t seen in some time and have him ask about things that are close to
you, but would ordinarily have no interest to him. This will not only make
people like you (people always like you if you show an interest in their
interests) but can be quite an asset in business.
The method is the same as for
remembering first names. Just put the thing into your original association when
you’re memorizing the name and face. If I met a Mr. Biller, whom I wanted to
impress, and I know he was an avid stamp collector- I might associate “bell” to
an outstanding feature on his face, and then associate stamps to that bell.
Some of you may feel that this
might confuse you into thinking that the man’s name is Bellstamp: but again
true memory tells you the difference. You’ll know that the name is Beller (to
make sure, you could use bell-law in the original association) and you’ll be
able to flatter him by asking or talking about his stamp collection.
During my own performances, I
will usually meet doctors, judges, commissioners, mayors, and many people with
titles other than “Mister”. It is essential for me to address them correctly,
because even though I remember their names, people with titles may be insulted
if I do not use that title, or if I forget it. The same idea applies; I simply
put something into my original association which will remind me of the title.
Anything will do; ten first object that comes to mind when you hear the title
is usually best. I always picture a stethoscope to remind me of ‘doctor,’ of
course scalpel, hypodermic, operating table, or anything like that, would
suffice.
When I meet a judge I always put a
gavel into my mental picture. This is enough to remind me to address this
person as “judge”. You might like to picture the judicial robe; that’s just as good.
Years ago, I recall seeing a picture of New York’s mayor jimmy Walker, wearing
a top hat. For some reason, this picture has always stuck with me. Now,
whenever I am introduced to a mayor of a town at an affair, I make sure to get
a top hat into my association.
I have done quite a few
performances for servicemen, and I have had to prepare a substitute word
beforehand to remind me as to whether the person was a sergeant, corporal,
lieutenant, captain, major, or what have you. At I met each man, I would put
this substitute word into my association of name to face, and I did address
each man correctly.
So you see that any word can be
put into your associations to remind you of things pertaining to the person as
well as his or her name. I have mentioned time and again, the fact that you
must use these ideas in order for them to work for you. I do this only because
it is important enough to warrant repetition. If you maintain the attitude that
nothing can help your terrible memory then nothing will, because you won’t let
t. Take a positive view of it all; try these ideas, and you’ll be pleasantly
surprised. If you’ve read up to here in this book, and tried all the ideas and
systems up to now, I’m sure you’ve already been convinced.
I’ve also told you that all these
ideas and methods are merely aids to your true memory. If you didn’t have the
capacity to remember to begin with, you wouldn’t remember, no matter how many
systems you used: or could you remember the systems. If you were to make an
extreme effort to remember you would; there’s no question about that. The
problem is that we’re all too lazy to make that effort. The systems contained
in this book, simply make it easier for you to make the effort, In order to
make your associations, you must pay attention to the thing you want to
remember; the rest is easy.
It would take far too much time
and space for me to tell you how helpful my trained memory has been to me,
aside from my public appearances. Of course, people will sometimes carry things
to an extreme. I meet and remember approximately one to three to four thousand
people every week, sometimes more. It would be a little silly for me to try to
retain all those names and faces. But , I never know when I’ll be stopped on the street, or in a movie, or while
driving my car, or in some small town someone demand, “ what’s my Name?”
These people expect me to
remember them although I met them with three or four hundred other people, at
the time. The amazing part is that in 20% to 30% of the time, my original
associations, made, perhaps years ago will come back to me after thinking for a
few moments. Then I do know the person’s name. In your case, this is no problem
because I’m sure that very few of you have to meet and remember anywhere near
three or four hundred thousand people a years.
I think that his book probably
would never have been published if it weren’t for the fact that I remembered
one person’s name. I had spoken to Mr. Fell, the publisher, about the book the
first time I met him. He said he would think about it, and that was that. About
five months later, after meeting many thousands of people. I happened to be
performing for an all male group at a charity breakfast. A gentleman approached
me and asked if I remembered him. After a moments’ thought, I realized it was
Mr. Fell who happened to have heard that I was appearing there and came down to
test me. I told him his name: and weeks later he all but confessed that if I
hadn’t remembered him, he wouldn’t have been half as enthused about the book as
he was now. You see, he naturally wanted to be sure that my systems really
worked.
This is only one instance where
remembering one person’s name was important to me. Remembering the right
person’s name at the proper time, may perhaps mean a great deal to you,
sometime in the future. It might be the stepping stone to a better job, a
bigger opportunity or a much better sales contract etc. so, try these systems,
use them, and I believe you’ll be well paid for your efforts.
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